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Well, That Escalated Quickly... overcoming rage

When we “lose it,” where does it come from? Why do we have such elevated responses at times?

Every time there is an explosion, also known as a "flash point," it is driven by some form of buried pain. It is not a question of whether it is there, but rather how to find it and bring healing.


I recently worked with a woman who had lost her teenage son to foster care when the conflict between the two became so volatile that it was no longer safe for them to be together. The flash point had become dangerous, and both knew it was time for a separation.

Fast forward twelve years. She ran into someone who knew her son. Within a few days, something was boiling on the inside. The turmoil was at a fevered pitch, and she had no idea why. We prayed for her and walked her through a mighty “deliverance” as she released her son and the pain of that time to God.

The time of prayer brought an amazing connection with God, but one time of prayer was not enough to completely clear the pain. For most people, if they have elevated to a flash point, there is a whole pile of stuff that needs to move to get to complete freedom. That may not happen in a day or even a week.

Round two. A second incident triggered more wounds. A person had uttered some negative comments that were similar to things said to her during her growing-up years, triggering a sense of failure as a mother and a daughter. 

Most of our pain gets lumped in a pile in mostly the same area—areas that we care about deeply. For some, that is being successful or influential. For others, that might be being a quality caregiver; others are problem solvers or helpers. It hurts when someone criticizes us in this core area.

These painful experiences are organized in our spirit by category. In our ministry, we call these "file drawers." Opening a drawer triggers a flash point. Even a small comment can fling open a drawer, causing a great explosion because it is stuffed full of accumulated pain. So, naturally, the response seems to be unreasonable. It is out of proportion to the facts of the moment, but not to the truth of the larger picture. There is a huge backlog of pain. The pain piles up from childhood, to the teen years, to parenting, and beyond. Identifying that invisible drawer makes the response seem less unreasonable.

God does not mean for you to be destroyed by your pain points, but to have those areas become a release of His power into others. The will of God is for overcoming rage so those flash points can be transformed into freedom points and then into ministry. When we overcome and where we overcome, we have a special ability to reach out to others—to give to them what we have received from God. The flash points are a light to point us in the direction of healing ourselves first, then ministering to others. You already have passion in those areas; that's why your reaction is so strong. Allow God to redeem the fire and become a blessing!

How can overcoming rage turn your mess into your ministry?

Have you been triggered lately? Can you imagine that pain point being transformed into a ministry? It can happen. It starts with receiving healing in those core areas; we have a resource library to walk with you through the process. Check it out:


HeartChangeU tools for Small Groups & Church Leaders

Heart Change U is an online training platform for Christian counselors, church elders, pastors, and those who seek to help influence others in healing and growing in His image. Developed through more than 15 years of helping addicts and alcoholics heal at a spiritual level from the wounds that cause their addictions, these proven tools and approaches are intended to equip you to walk with others through the Heart Change process in order to become the men and women of God He is calling them to be.


The Omega Project: Faith Based Residential Recovery Program

The Omega Project Christian addiction recovery program offers a community of discipleship homes where assistance is always available to help fight through the challenges of dysfunction so that men and women may find and be restored to their created purpose.

If you or someone you love is caught in the stronghold of addiction, there is hope in Christ! Reach out to The Omega Project.


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