Self-pity is one of the most stubborn and difficult strongholds to defeat. It is deeply rooted in the pride family, which means God’s primary solution is to make the person wait. Waiting means that any progress comes very slowly. When you combine slow progress with someone who already has a sense of woundedness and self-justification, it becomes a toxic mix to overcome.
At the spirit level, every person has an instinctive sense of who they were created to be. An inner voice tells us who we should be and what we should do, and we judge ourselves accordingly. To better identify a person’s calling, look for the places where he judges himself more critically.
The person who struggles with self-pity was designed by God to be a leader for others. So, to feel good about himself, he looks at the level of influence he has on other people. If it is not adequate in his eyes, then he feels like a failure. The would-be leader gets down on himself.
The one caught in the quicksand of self-pity:
Tends to study the reactions of others to find where “he went wrong” in influencing them.
If he finds something, he changes his behavior—not in a way that is repentance, but in a way that continues the pattern of faith in himself.
If he doesn’t find anything, he generally stays in a depressive state, feeling like a failure, feeling powerless, and thus hopeless.
If he stays in this hopeless and powerless place, his attention generally turns back to others' reactions in such a way that he feels somewhere between a martyr and a victim.
The hopeless victim cycle intensifies, and there is nothing positive that comes out of the struggle.
This downward cycle is not going to end with the kind of repentance that brings growth and life.
Overcoming Self Pity
During this down season, a healthy person will do the kind of self-examination that leads to repentance and connection with God. They will acknowledge that they have no control over others' responses. If someone's struggle season leads to repentance and then to connection with God, it serves as a stepping stone to growth and re-energizing through the connection with God.
Ready to Defeat Depression?
Depression is rarely something that can be overcome by the sufferer alone. It is quicksand that pulls downward in anger, self-justification, and hopelessness. Breaking free of its downward pull requires strength from the outside - we are here to help. Check out this free eBook on HeartChangeU.com it's a big step and a big start toward defeating depression - in this ebook, you'll be equipped with insights and practical tools to guide others out of the pit and into God's healing light.
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