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That's the trouble with setting boundaries...

Most people are forever trying to put distance between themselves and their difficult places. If they struggle with their temper, they try to stay away from people, places, or things that might trigger anger. If their issue is lust, they create what I call “fences” to try to keep themselves in a safe zone.

We all tend to think that some ugly person on the outside caused our ugly part to surface. The trouble with setting boundaries is that getting better requires a microscope, not a telescope. The issues that can potentially destroy a person do not come from the outside but are lurking in the deep places of his heart.

Having trouble with setting boundaries?

A phrase we use is “if it don’t show up, you won’t grow up.” Eventually, there has to be a confrontation with the inner darkness. Victory comes by squarely facing those painful and difficult places, not by walling them off.

Having healthy boundaries (“fences”) is a good thing. Fences can provide temporary protection. They can limit the attack that comes. They can give the person the time he needs to grow. Few people can successfully overcome in difficult areas without the right kind of boundaries, but boundaries are not the ultimate solution.

But eventually, God will allow the battle to take place. Why? Because He wants heart change. He doesn't want us to be under the enemy's authority! He wants every person to be transformed into His image & to know His freedom! The first thing we need to do is accept that this is our issue. It is not just the product of a trigger from bad people or experiences. The second thing to do is to recognize that we are powerless to defeat that inner darkness unless we receive help from God and others. The third thing to do is to get the help needed to win.

How can we overcome trouble with setting boundaries?

It starts with receiving healing in those core areas; we have a resource library to walk with you through the process. Check it out:


HeartChangeU tools for Small Groups & Church Leaders

Heart Change U is an online training platform for Christian counselors, church elders, pastors, and those who seek to help influence others in healing and growing in His image. Developed through more than 15 years of helping addicts and alcoholics heal at a spiritual level from the wounds that cause their addictions, these proven tools and approaches are intended to equip you to walk with others through the Heart Change process in order to become the men and women of God He is calling them to be.


The Omega Project: Faith Based Residential Recovery Program

The Omega Project Christian addiction recovery program offers a community of discipleship homes where assistance is always available to help fight through the challenges of dysfunction so that men and women may find and be restored to their created purpose.


If you or someone you love is caught in the stronghold of addiction, there is hope in Christ! Reach out to The Omega Project.


Bring Heart Change to Your Church or Community




Ask us how to bring Heart Change to your congregation or community!


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