Some people, Christians especially, hate the anger part of themselves. But, trying to tamp anger down is a futile effort. The more you squeeze it, the more toxic it gets. The key is finding a positive expression for the anger. Sometimes that means being angry with God.
Anger has a purpose. It is part of the passion family. It is a motivator. Without passion, we go nowhere. We do nothing. Passion has to be expressed, used up, and spent in a direction.
Yes, with unhealthy passion, we go to destructive places. Unhealthy anger can quickly take us in directions that are not good. Generally, anger should motivate us to find the purpose of God, face what we need to face, or do what we need to do. Healthy anger helps us generate the needed courage to act in ways we might not have been willing to act if the anger were absent.
When we rant before God, there will be little or no response from Him. Have you ever tried to intervene with a child during a temper tantrum? How did that work out? We need to express our unhealthy anger in the healthiest way possible. Why not before God? He is already aware of your condition.
It is OK to be angry with God
It is not necessarily good to direct anger at God, though that is better than trying to suppress anger. The better way is to simply acknowledge anger before God.
“I am ticked! Why is this happening? I don’t get this, God!"
Healthy processing of anger starts with “I am statements” toward God. “I am angry!”
There are several benefits to making “I statements” before God. First, the anger is being bled off. The emotions wear down to a more manageable level. Second, you are speaking to God. That is the right direction.
You can be totally honest with Him because He already knows. Games with Him are foolish. Talking to God is what so many of the Psalms are all about. The writers of the Psalms often start with anger or frustration, but as the psalmists direct their conversations toward God, they move to a better place.
“I am statements” done right also move the person experiencing anger to start owning his anger. He might even see his part in the drama more accurately. Process first! Own your stuff. Then speak. “Be angry and do not sin” (Eph. 4:26a).
The key word is "process." Energy needs an outlet, and it should not be in a way that will make the situation worse. God and godly counselors provide a place for that to happen.
Hopefully, if you are processing anger before God, you get to the point of humbling yourself before Him and His Word. None of us is innocent. Even if the other person is 99% wrong, I still own 1% of it. I am still required to acknowledge this before God, and probably before the person.
If you really want to change things, you find that place of humility before you act out any anger. Some don’t want positive outcomes as much as they believe they do. They would rather “be right” or “vent anger” than work for a solution. If that is your heart, you own more than 1%!
The person with anger issues can become the "life" of the group when they process and handle their passion in the right way—God's way. Will you do the work you need to do to get there?
What's Next?
Heart Change U offers has a whole toolkit to encourage and support you in the walk toward Heart Change. Check it out:
HeartChangeU tools for Small Groups & Church Leaders
Heart Change U is an online training platform for Christian counselors, church elders, pastors, and those who seek to help influence others in healing and growing in His image. Developed through more than 15 years of helping addicts and alcoholics heal at a spiritual level from the wounds that cause their addictions, these proven tools and approaches are intended to equip you to walk with others through the Heart Change process in order to become the men and women of God He is calling them to be.
The Omega Project: Faith Based Residential Recovery Program
The Omega Project Christian addiction recovery program offers a community of discipleship homes where assistance is always available to help fight through the challenges of dysfunction so that men and women may find and be restored to their created purpose.
If you or someone you love is caught in the stronghold of addiction, there is hope in Christ! Reach out to The Omega Project.
Bring Heart Change to Your Church or Community
SMALL GROUP COURSES
LEADERSHIP TRAININGS
IMMERSIVE RETREATS
Ask us how to bring Heart Change to your congregation or community!
Comments