I am a perfectionist. I am very good at picking myself apart. I am good at self hatred. But the better I get at my perfectionism, the more I fail.
It seems like the right thing to do. How else are we going to keep control of ourselves? We have to give ourselves a good “beating” now and then, or we will get “the big head.”
I might be in favor of it if actually beating myself up resulted in any positive change. The problem is that this kind of “self-control” doesn’t work. In fact, if anything, the self-hatred makes the problem worse.
The solution does not lie in a self-proclaimed "I am awesome." Sure, the “positive thinker” may feel good about self for a season. But once the first defeat comes, a greater crash is soon to follow.
The solution to self-hatred is “I am.” Every single human being is fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14). We all have something at the deeper spiritual level to contribute to others. “I am.” Period.
It is not my job to shake the universe but to be who “I am.” When that is not enough, it is ok. I don’t need to stress or strive. I rest in my limitations. When I do that, I bring peace to the situation. When I bring peace, things start working better in my sphere. If I can accept my “I am” and rest in it, so many things change for the good.
I am overcoming perfectionism. I am learning to let go of my perfectionism and rest. When there is conflict or pain, one of the best things I can do is to do nothing. It is to take a deep breath and rest in my “I am.” I accept my limited influence. I accept that others will not always react well to me, and that doesn’t necessarily mean I am a failure.
When things start working better, I feel better about myself. I haven’t done anything except rest in my “I am.” It really is a much better life, and I have a much better impact on others too!
Take your place in the world God has given you. You and God make a powerful team. With Him on board, you possess good stuff. You bring good stuff—the kind of stuff that makes it easier to rest in your “I am.” How can it get any better than resting in your “I am”?
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Thanks for a great read. This, in particular, stuck out to me: "It is not my job to shake the universe but to be who “I am.” When that is not enough, it is ok. I don’t need to stress or strive. I rest in my limitations." That's difficult to do, between pride on one hand and people-pleasing on the other! This was a great reminder.